Calculus

This is my life right now:

After 9 hours of calculus today I think my brain's about to explode.

I've never done so much math in my life. It's like all of the work that I would put into an entire semester of a math class just got crammed into a week and a half. Only like 6 weeks left...

The good part is, I mostly understand what I'm doing. At least I think I do, I'll have to see after I take my 1st midterm tomorrow or friday.

SOOO ready for the weekend. Now I think I'm going to watch Modern family until I fall asleep.

Summer Vacation

It's weird, it's summer but I'm spending my time going to class and doing calculus homework. My mom and littlest sisters are in Idaho at my grandparents enjoying their summer and Julie's in Europe. It doesn't feel like summer to me, but I get glimpses of it as I talk to my mom. Last weekend we had a Stolworthy family reunion, so fun! I have the coolest cousins ever! We have quite a bit of fun together. We all have very similar senses of humor meaning that we can laugh at anything someone says. To quote Rachel, "we make a joke and run with it, then squish it and murder it." haha and our family's just getting bigger as my cousins are getting married. 2 of them are getting married in the next 3 months :) and there are more to come, I'm sure.

Also, I got a bike! I haven't had a bike in probably 10 years but I love it, I ride it to campus.
(I would put up a picture but my cameras are up in Idaho with my mom)

In a week and a half I'll be up in Idaho with my mom's family celebrating the 4th of July, I'm excited. It's gonna consist of a triathalon, good food, and boating (including skiing and wakeboarding)

My friends are leaving on missions, here's part of the list:
Nathaniel: today
Cameron: 1 week
Colton: 2 weeks
Brad: 4 weeks
crazy... I guess I'm gonna have to buy some stamps

Driving

Well I'm finally in Provo. This past week has been insane. We packed up everything in our house in boxes and loaded them onto a truck. I've been living out of a suitcase ever since. We left our house on thursday night. It was quite depressing to look at our empty home, just a skeleton. I know I said that in my last entry but it was eerily true. We slept at my uncle's house and on friday we headed out at like 6. The seating arrangements were the best! My dad, Lucy (the dog), Sarah, and Andrea were all in the truck and my mom and I were in the Mercedes. Fair huh?! haha it was really relaxing and spacious but it worked out really well and the little girls were thrilled so we kept it like that the whole time. The first night we drove until we got almost to Kansas City. Missouri is disgusting, I drove through it and it was just gross... Kansas was almost as bad. It was really dull but at least it was green, we hit Kansas on Saturday. I drove most of the time. I had been hoping to stop in Colorado Springs and see Cameron but my dad said that he would have to meet him in Denver. Half way through Kansas my mom and I got sick of following the moving truck, it couldn't go faster than 65. So I called my dad and said, "I want to go to Cameron's house. We can drive up ahead and meet up with you later." He said OK! So I took off and drove 80 instead, it's amazing how much faster you get through Kansas going 80. By 5 we were in Colorado and by 7 I was at Cameron's house. :) It was almost too good to be true. I kept trying to pinch myself but I didn't need to because Cameron was doing that for me. We sat around and talked all night and Colton came over! Definitely one of my favorite nights ever. After Colton left we watched a movie and went to bed. The next morning we all got up and had breakfast, which was fantastic. Then we sat and talked and watched a movie and just enjoyed being together. My mom wanted to leave by noon but she took a nap at 11:30 and no one woke her up because I didn't want to leave. We finally left at 3. Gosh, I love the Rogers family. They are so much fun! :) Did I mention Colorado was beautiful? maybe I'm a little biased but those mountains were so green and I saw 2 rainbows!


The Rogers Cameron and I

Now I'm sitting in the basement of my sister's house in Provo. It's weird to be back here. I slept in the exact same place I did last time I was here right after Cameron and I officially broke up. I'm slightly dreading going on campus because it will just bring back memories of freshman year and everyone that's not going to be there... but I'll meet a bunch of new people and I promised Cameron and Colton that I wouldn't do this so I'm gonna be happy and positive. Bridget just stopped by and we caught up a little. I can't wait to move into my apartment with my roommates in August! :)

I am incapable of writing a short entry. Maybe if I wrote more often I'd do better with that.

Home is Where the Heart is

Well, in exactly one week I will be sleeping in this house for the last time. It's a weird thought. I can't even wrap my mind around it, actually. This house... well it's my home. I've lived here since I was 10. I remember when we first moved in and I spent the whole first night crying because I wanted to go back to my old house. We did the next day and that's when I realized that home wasn't the house it was the family that lived in it and the things that were in it that made it ours. Granted, this house is a little different than the house we lived in before because we built this one and have lived here for so much longer. I'm starting to feel the detachment to this house just in that it's been remodeled since I was last here so it doesn't feel as much like it's mine. But I still don't know what I'm going to do without this being my home. The past few months at college my little dorm room was my home and I felt detached to that as I left because nothing about the room was mine anymore. I guess that's how it goes. You have a place and you fill it with you, then when you move it's just a skeleton of what it once was. I don't really want this house to be like that though. I love this house. My last bedroom here was painted for my big present when I turned 18. It hurts to think that the family moving in might paint over it. I love our backyard. It's seriously beautiful. Tonight we had our last cook out in the fire pit with the hammock and s'mores and everything... It was perfect. I think it's teasing us with how perfect it is right now. In a week it will all be nothing but a memory. (name that movie.... You've Got Mail :) ) I'm going to miss the green, having a yard, our house, the drinking fountain, my old adorable room, the people in our ward that I actually know. (so many new people moved in that I don't even know most of them anymore) I'm gonna miss the back country roads and the hills covered in trees. I love kentucky, it's where I've spent 13 of the 19 years of my life. I have so many memories here, but is it worth it to stay just to be able to relive those memories? Memories can be made anywhere. My best memories have been made in the past few months at BYU, not Kentucky. Well, here we go. Heading off into the unknown. Everything familiar to me is going to be gone, my house, home ward, friends, boyfriend... everything's changing at once, I just hope that I can embrace it and take it as it comes.

Come what may and love it!