I guess you would think that because it's technically Christmas right now I would be writing a post about Christmas and how it snowed today and I was able to get all of my shopping done in 3 hours this afternoon, we were able to skype with my sister in Thailand for a couple hours, and I am now sitting here writing this in my new zebra print footie pajamas... but that's not what is on my mind right now.
I have been thinking recently about the past 6 months. You know, some people have a hard time living in the present because they are so busy looking forward to and planning for the future, I'm not like that. I have a hard time living in the present because I like to remember the past... it's one of the curses of having a ridiculously good memory. It's how I am able to see someone I met once and place where I met them and what we talked about, and how I was able to keep myself completely head over heels for a guy that I hadn't seen or talked to in 2 years. Anyway, these past 6 months I think it's safe to say have been the most life changing for me out of any other 6 month period so far in my life. Let me explain a little bit.
You know on 500 Days of Summer when there is the split screen of expectation and reality? Looking back on this 6 months feels a little bit like that.
I came home from London and went to Colorado and had a perfect week. I cannot think of a single thing that went wrong during that amazing week of four wheeling. Then I came back to Provo and things changed. In the past 6 months I have felt hurt and pain unlike anything I have ever felt before. My heart was completely crushed and I found myself having to work my way back up from what seemed like nothing. The pain has dulled now, that's something that I have found happens over time.
Good things happened too, amazing things actually. I applied for graduation, making this past semester my last full semester of school ever! I was blessed with the greatest roommates in the whole world, one of which is my kindred spirit and has been a life saver for me. I secured a job for next semester that will give me a set schedule.
I have completely re-evaluated my life and straightened out my priorities. I have become the kind of person that I want to be and that I am proud of, all on my own (with help from a loving Heavenly Father, of course) but without the influence or motivation of another person. I have made changes in my life that I did not even realize that I needed to make before.
This past half year did not go at all the way that I planned, but sometimes God has a better plan for your life. That's what I've learned.