Tuesday, December 25, 2012

6 Months

I guess you would think that because it's technically Christmas right now I would be writing a post about Christmas and how it snowed today and I was able to get all of my shopping done in 3 hours this afternoon, we were able to skype with my sister in Thailand for a couple hours, and I am now sitting here writing this in my new zebra print footie pajamas... but that's not what is on my mind right now.

I have been thinking recently about the past 6 months. You know, some people have a hard time living in the present because they are so busy looking forward to and planning for the future, I'm not like that. I have a hard time living in the present because I like to remember the past... it's one of the curses of having a ridiculously good memory. It's how I am able to see someone I met once and place where I met them and what we talked about, and how I was able to keep myself completely head over heels for a guy that I hadn't seen or talked to in 2 years. Anyway, these past 6 months I think it's safe to say have been the most life changing for me out of any other 6 month period so far in my life. Let me explain a little bit.

6 months ago I was living in London. I was immersed in a world that was unfamiliar but I loved so much. I was surrounded by amazing, fun people all the time. I was using foreign money and spent my time going to museums via the tube. I spent a couple of hours a day on skype and the rest of my down time dreaming of the next couple of months to come.

You know on 500 Days of Summer when there is the split screen of expectation and reality? Looking back on this 6 months feels a little bit like that.

I came home from London and went to Colorado and had a perfect week. I cannot think of a single thing that went wrong during that amazing week of four wheeling. Then I came back to Provo and things changed. In the past 6 months I have felt hurt and pain unlike anything I have ever felt before. My heart was completely crushed and I found myself having to work my way back up from what seemed like nothing. The pain has dulled now, that's something that I have found happens over time.

Good things happened too, amazing things actually. I applied for graduation, making this past semester my last full semester of school ever! I was blessed with the greatest roommates in the whole world, one of which is my kindred spirit and has been a life saver for me. I secured a job for next semester that will give me a set schedule.

 I have completely re-evaluated my life and straightened out my priorities. I have become the kind of person that I want to be and that I am proud of, all on my own (with help from a loving Heavenly Father, of course) but without the influence or motivation of another person. I have made changes in my life that I did not even realize that I needed to make before.

My best friend got engaged 5 months ago and was married this past weekend, and I was able to go! I turned 22, which is an age that I have been really excited about for a long time. I had a party and just gave people an open invitation to show up if they felt like it. I had 30 people who I love so much from all of the 4 years that I have been at BYU show up at my apartment to wish me happy birthday! I still can't believe that I have met so many incredible people here! I love them!

This past half year did not go at all the way that I planned, but sometimes God has a better plan for your life. That's what I've learned.

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